Challenge: Confidence Hack: Make Yourself a Promise and Keep It

It’s time for another confidence hack. These are short little actionable tips that you can implement right away to grow your courage and self-confidence. Today is another great example of how a simple idea and a shift in thought and perception is all it takes to give you that confidence boost you need. It’s one of those hacks that works better the more you use it. Give it a try starting today and then make an effort to use it regularly.

The confidence hack is simple. Make yourself a promise and then make sure you keep it. That’s it. If it sounds simple, it’s because it is. But like some of the other hacks I’ve shared with you already, it’s more powerful than you may think.

By making yourself a promise, you’ll accomplish several things. The first is that you define what you need to do. You can’t make a promise if you don’t know what you’re promising. The second is that you are committing yourself to taking action. To keep the promise, you have to do something. Which brings us to the last part of the hack. You have to make sure that you keep the promise you made yourself. By getting in the habit of doing that, you won’t let yourself make up excuses or put things off. Start right now by making yourself the promise to give this a serious try. I want you to promise yourself that you will keep the promises you make to yourself. It’s an important part of this hack and what will help build your self-confidence.

Think of it this way. Who do you feel is more reliable and who are you more confident in? The person that makes big promises, but doesn’t always keep them, or the one that will keep his promise no matter what when he’s given his word? It’s the second one. It’s no different when you’re dealing with yourself. With this one little commitment and shift in thinking you can greatly boost your confidence in yourself. Best of all, each time you keep another promise to yourself, you’re reinforcing that confidence.

Let’s look at an example of this confidence hack in action. Let’s say there’s something you want to get done in the morning. This could be going to the gym, reading a book, writing in a journal, or a specific task for your job or business. Define what it is you want to do and then set aside time for it each morning. Then make yourself a promise to get it done each and every morning for a week. Write it down and commit. Stick to your promise and after the week re-evaluate. Is it working? Is there something you need to change? Make those tweaks and then make another promise to yourself to do this task every morning (or Monday through Friday) for another week. Rinse and repeat.

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Challenge: Confidence Hack: Eat That Frog

In yesterday’s post I shared some tough love with you and explained why complaining about things isn’t a good long-term strategy. In today’s confidence hack we’re going to piggyback on that idea by eating the frog. Often the thing we complain about is something we don’t want to do. It’s the thing we dread and keep putting off. We spent more time worrying and complaining about it than is good for ourselves. Worst of all it makes us feel less confident and less competent. Instead of pushing it back and putting it off, we should get in the habit of tackling it head on, first thing in the morning.

What do frogs have to do with it you ask? Good question. It’s an expression from Brian Tracey who wrote a book called “Eat that Frog”. Pick up a copy when you get the chance. The reasoning behind it is this. What if I asked you to eat a frog? Unless you’re into French cuisine, that does not sound like an appetizing endeavor. Instead it’s one of those things you really don't want to do and you keep putting it off. If you just went ahead and ate that frog first thing in the morning, you wouldn't spend all day worrying and agonizing about having to eat it. Instead of dampening your self-esteem and confidence, getting it done right away will boost your self-confidence and increase your courage.

While you probably haven’t been asked to eat a frog, you’ve been in plenty of similar situations. Maybe it’s the tough homework assignment in school, decluttering your closet at home, or doing your taxes. We all have tasks we want to put off, sometimes indefinitely. But doing this holds us back. We know we’ll have to get that homework assignment turned in eventually and that taxes will be due April 15th. We also know that getting ready in the morning will be much easier with a closet filled only with outfits we'd actually wear.

We also know that doing this work that has to be done early in the day when we have the mental and physical energy to do it will be much easier than trying to rush through it and pull an all-nighter at the last minute.

Going forward I challenge you to “eat that frog” and do the most difficult or most dreaded task first. Not only will you do a much better job with it and waste less energy and worrying about it, it’s also a great way to boost your self-confidence and self-esteem.

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Challenge: Confidence Hack: Start Volunteering

In yesterday’s blog post we talked about how doing random acts of kindness can boost your self-esteem. I hope you took the time yesterday to give it a try and are starting to make performing random acts of kindness part of your day as often as possible. In today’s confidence hack we’re going to take it to the next level. My tip for you today to boost your confidence and your self-esteem is to start volunteering.

Volunteering Is Random Acts of Kindness On Steroids

Just like random acts of kindness, volunteering for a good cause makes you feel proud and good about yourself. It makes you feel like you matter and that you’re making a difference. Unlike doing something for a random stranger, you can actually see the positive impact you’re having for yourself when you’re volunteering somewhere regularly. That’s why I’m considering volunteering RAK on steroids. Yes, it takes more time and it’s a bigger commitment. In return though, you also get better results and your confidence gets an even bigger boost.

Volunteering Is Scheduled And Harder To Skip

It’s easy to say that you’re going to be kinder to others and do more for those around you. Actually doing it day in and day out is another story. It’s too easy to let a day go by without performing a random act of kindness and before you know it a month has passed and you're right where you started.

Since volunteering is a bit more of a commitment, and usually a scheduled activity, you’ll be a lot more likely to actually do it regularly. It also helps to be part of a volunteering community and knowing that others are counting on you to be there and do your part.

Volunteering Forces You To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Last but not least, volunteering forces you to step out of your comfort zone. You have to put yourself out there and meet new people, learn new skills and do things you’ve never done before. At the same time the organization you’re volunteering for will have the tools, resources, training, and support to help you succeed. It’s a great way to set yourself up for a big win and big boost in confidence.

Go out there and start volunteering. You’ll be glad you did. It’s a rewarding experience that also helps build your courage and your self-confidence.

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Challenge: Confidence Hack: Sometimes You’ve Got to Fake It

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “Fake It ‘Till You Make It”. It’s most often used in the context of entrepreneurship and entertainment. The idea is to act like you’re a big deal and great success until you actually are. While it may sound odd at first, it turns out that faking it actually works. It makes you pay attention to what the people that have already made it in your chosen business or career, do on a daily basis. How do they act, talk, dress, and what are their habits? You have to first start to pay attention and figure those things out, and then you start to model or copy them. In the end, you start to develop some of the same habits successful people have and as a result you yourself will hopefully become more successful. Of course being perceived as a big deal by those around you doesn't hurt either.

Here’s where things get interesting for us. It turns out that faking confidence works to make us actually feel more confident. Let me repeat that. Faking confidence makes you more confident. That’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? That’s why it’s today’s confidence hack. Here are a few ideas on how we can tap into this idea and use it to our advantage.

The basic idea is to simply start acting confident. Stand up tall, and go for it. Keep pretending to be self-confident until you start to feel it for real. Ask yourself what the confident and courageous version of yourself would do and then do it.

If you don’t feel very confident at the beginning stop and ask yourself what you would do if you were more confident. Let’s look at an example. Let’s say you’re at a social gathering where you don’t know anyone but you should be mingling and meeting new people. The shy version of yourself wants to go hide in the corner and fade into the background. What would a confident person do? He or she would walk in there tall with a big smile and start making small talk. That’s exactly what you’ll be doing. Pretend you’re confident. If this seems hard, or intimidating, make yourself fake confidence for five minutes. You can do this. After those five minutes, you’ve talked to at least one person. That may be just what you need to get comfortable in this new situation and no matter what happens, you’ll start to feel more comfortable and confident after this little exercise.

The surprising thing is that once you get in the habit of faking confidence, you will start to feel more self-confident for real. I encourage you to give it a try and to start implementing today's confidence hack of faking it until you make it. Before long you’ll be more self-confident and courageous in anything you decide to tackle and that’s a great thing.

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Catch up on any posts you miss during the challenge. Here's the link: confidence and courage challenge posts.

Confidence Hack: Stop Negative Self Talk in its Tracks

Yesterday we talked about negative thoughts and negative self-talk, what causes them and how they can sabotage us in our efforts to become more courageous and self-confident. I shared a few ideas with you about stopping these negative thoughts, but thought you could use a few more tools for this in your mental toolbox. That’s what today’s confidence hack is all about – stopping negative self-talk in its track. The earlier you can catch it and the faster you can stop it, the better.

Be On The Lookout

This is why it’s important to always be on the lookout for negative self-talk. Often we let it go on without realizing what we’re doing. We can’t take control of it unless we start to notice it. Start monitoring those internal monologues for negative thoughts so you can spot them quickly and deal with them appropriately.

Give It A Name

Start by giving a name and personality to that negative voice in your head. Call it the nag, the critic… whatever name feels right to you. Don’t be afraid to make it a silly name. It will help you take a lot of the power and influence that little voice in your head currently has right out of it. It will also help you to quickly notice what’s going on and stop it. “There goes Bob again…”

Put It In Perspective

Things are always worse in our head, aren’t they? That’s why we think when we do something embarrassing it seems so much worse than when someone else does it. That’s why it’s important to put that conversation that’s going on in your head into perspective. Instead of blowing up the negative and thinking that you ruined your relationship or career because of one little blunder or embarrassing moment, bring it down to what it really was… you said something stupid, or spilled coffee all over yourself in front of someone important. Here are some ideas for putting things into perspective:

  • Imagine if this happened to someone else… would you think it was a big deal?
  • Look around you. Are people laughing or looking outraged? If you don’t get a huge reaction, it wasn’t that big of a deal.
  • Talk it through with a good friend. They’ll help you put it into perspective.
  • Put a positive or at least neutral spin on it. At least you were memorable or no one will think about this next week.

Condition Yourself With A Rubber Band

If you’re struggling to catch the negative self-talk early and spiral down into negative thoughts instead before you can catch it, there’s a quick trick you can use to get into the habit of catching it early quickly. The main thing is to make yourself stop as soon as you realize that negative self-talk has taken hold. A quick way to do that is to use a rubber band. Put it around your wrist (make sure it’s not too tight), and as soon as you catch the negative self-talk, snap the rubber band. It won’t take long before you will notice the negative self-talk as soon as it starts and you won’t need to use the rubber band again.