The definition of a good friend is someone who will come over while you’re recuperating from surgery and surprise you with a one-shot D&D adventure. Thank you, thank you! I played Zane von Ronzel, disgraced scion of wealth (a cross between Raef and Jezal dan Luthar) turned thief, in debt to the Red Fingers gang for some 5000 marks. A gestalt fighter 2/rogue 2.

I’m not the worst D&D player on earth, but I seriously am not the best. (Oh be quiet!) I’m not a tactical thinker either. (I said, be quiet!) Zane had his chance for a Big Score, so he scoped out the house. And opted to try to break in from the front gate.

OK, not too bright. Especially since I was rolling for crap that day. Since that approach didn’t work, I opted for climbing the wall and entering through a front window. The family was supposed to be out at the opera, but I knew it wouldn’t be as easy as that. Naturally I failed a crucial Reflex save and would’ve fallen had it not been for the lovely young daughter of the house who pulled me in. Actually, if not for her, Zane would’ve died really early on.

Romantic adventures ensued as I convinced her I was a dashing ne’er-do-well down on my luck, forced into thievery to regain my fortunes. She didn’t completely believe that, but she was having fun. Then her nasty drunken cousin showed up. Glad I didn’t enter his bedroom instead. I essentially killed him with my deadly rapier and main gauche attacks and left her to staunch the bleeding while I found the painting I’d come for.

Zane, you’re not a good thief. At all. I failed Open Lock and Strength checks to get two doors open, fortunately avoiding the needle trap on one door. But at length I forced one of the doors open and found the creepy painting–a landscape of Hell. Complete with a booby-trapped frame. I began cutting it out after at last getting the idea to disarm the trap (see? not a great thief akshully), when I was rudely interrupted by an imp.

I HATE IMPS. Amazingly annoying, especially when you keep fumbling your Fort saves and getting poisoned by their #$%^ tails. And when you can’t get past their damage resistance. At least Zane was clothed. (As I’m sure my faithful readers recall, Raef was naked when he faced an imp. Ouch. Adventurers should NOT sleep naked. Just sayin’.) If it hadn’t been for Annalee’s quick thinking (she’d make a great bandit queen, possibly), Zane would be another corpse to explain away. She threw a sheet over it, succeeding after several tries. I got away with the painting, one last kiss, and an open invitation to call again.

Although I only received 2000 marks for my trouble. Zane still has to come up with some more geld to prevent being mutilated by mobsters. Maybe he should form a quick liasion with Annalee. Or get the heck outta Dodge.

Despite my ineptitude, I had so much fun. Thanks again!